I decided to start this page as a place to document all the things that some people refer to as “pet peeves”. I don’t particularly like that term, mainly because I try to be different, and it sounds cliche. So, with that in mind, I’ll refer to this as a list of things in life that mildly irritate me when I encounter them.

I’ll start this list off with a disclaimer: Most of these issues involve driving of some sort, as I do most of my observations while in the car, and I believe everyone else on the road serves no purpose other to impede my path to my destination in the most irritating way possible.

Cleaning your windshield while driving, and shooting the washer fluid on the car behind you I don’t know how many times I’ll be driving behind someone on the freeway and they decide it’s a good time to wash their windows, and I end up drenched in washer fluid. Do this shit while you’re at a red light, not while you’re doing 75.

Holding the cell phone with your right hand to your left ear, and then steering with your left hand Picture this in your head a minute, and you’ll see how ridiculous it looks. No wonder cell phones cause so many accidents.

Standing in the street while waiting for the bus Why are you standing 6 feet from the curb looking for the bus? Do you think this will make it arrive any sooner? No. All it’s going to do is get your dumb ass run over. The bus will arrive when it arrives. Read a book and wait.

Parking like an asshole, especially when you drive a bucket I know you may want to keep your ‘93 Ford Probe in mint condition, but there’s no reason for you to take up two parking spots. Also, compact spots are for compact cars, like a Toyota Yaris. Not for a fucking Suburban. I should walk around with a stack of tickets from You Park Like An Asshole

Using a hands free device doesn’t mean holding your phone 3 inches from your face on speakerphone California recently passed a law banning driving while talking on your cell phone without using a hands free device like a Bluetooth headset. Yet, people decide that they just can’t abide by the law, but don’t want to blatantly break the law, so they hold their phone next to their face, but away from their ear. Not the same thing dumbass, your hands still aren’t at 10 and 2.

Flip flops are designed to be worn at the beach, not with jeans and a dress shirt I just have a problem with the whole flip flop craze to begin with, but if you’re gonna go to the trouble of putting on nice clothes to go out somewhere, take the time to put on some fucking shoes. And don’t bitch when I step on your toes.

Excessive windshield wiper usage If it’s sprinkling out, you don’t need to have your wipers on high speed.

Hovering at the Starbucks delivery counter I understand you are in a hurry for your venti latte with soy milk and a double shot of espresso but there’s no reason for you to stand right at the counter waiting for your overpriced beverage while everyone else has to reach past you to get theirs. Come wait a few feet back from the counter with everyone else

People who don’t read road signs I understand that the majority of freeway on-ramp lights are “one car per green” but there are some that allow for the innovative concept of two cars per green. Try reading the sign and not backing up the on-ramp for everyone else because your dumb ass can’t read the sign directly below the green light you’re waiting for.

Posting “first” on comment threads We can all tell you are the first person to post a comment since there are no posts before yours. But think of something insightful to say other than FIRST! so we know you have a life that doesn’t revolve around refreshing websites waiting for a new story to be posted so you can be the first commenter and let us all know you have no life.

Going to the gym and spending more time on a cell phone than a weight machine If you want to go somewhere to talk on your cell phone or pick up on girls, go somewhere other than the gym. I’m trying to get a workout in, and you’re sitting at a machine talking about how you got fucked up at the club last night. Unless you’re a doctor on call or an important businessman, you have zero reason to bring your cell phone to the gym. You’re not that important, your friends can wait until you’re done.

Thinking vibrate is the same as turning off the cell phone If you’re somewhere that requests turning off your phone, it means turn off the fucking phone. Either that or put it on silent, so the phone generates no audible sound. Vibrate is not silent, I can still hear the damn thing buzzing. Same goes with text messaging. When I’m at the library trying to study, the last thing I want to hear is your ass tapping away on your phone. Oh, and if your phone does ring when it’s not supposed to, turn off the damn ringer. Don’t look around and try to play it off like it’s not your phone, we all can tell the Mission:Impossible ring tone is coming from your pocket.

Obvious grammatical errors in emails This may just be more of an anal thing, but there’s a difference between the words lose and loose, they are not interchangeable. The building can not loose power. Nor can you loose your free pass to the movies. Same thing with aisle and isle. Unless you’re referring to a tropical paradise, it’s aisle.

Cops driving 65 on the freeway While the officer may think he’s doing his part to reduce speeds on the freeway, all he’s really accomplishing is a clusterfuck behind him, as people are tailgating and maneuvering to get ahead of each other, and generally making the freeway unsafe, rather than making it safer.